Left For Dead - Or - Why The Republicans Let McCain Loose

As an avid horror fan and skeptic of Anonymous’ ability to behave itself, I had my doubts going into Left 4 Dead (or L4D as the young people say these days). Needless to say I was there when VOIP became a part of the online gaming experience, and I was welcomed with rampant teabagging and 12 year olds singing into their mic. Needless to say when it comes time to thrust myself into a horde of undead with three other strangers I had my doubts.

I am shocked that it works so well. Left Four Dead relies on that age old law of any group of people, social Darwinism. My associate Ben enlightened me, he reminded me that if someone is a stupid dick and wanders off to get killed, then they had what was coming to them. This is true, after several games it has remained true, which is fantastic. Isn't that the way it is in those cheesy horror flicks? I think it works well.

Griefers though, those sneaky bastards and champions of the teamkill on any server that has friendly fire turned on, what about those? Well you can only take so many hits, if team killing starts it will be finished when your fellow survivors reciprocate, or simply just let a Hunter do the job for you. After an exceptionally stupid person kept crossing into people’s firing arc we just stopped healing them, and made them our lowest priority. The Director only gives us so much HP, why waste it on them?

All in all, this has been a fantastic experience right out of the zombie movies I have always loved. In one scenario I found myself swarmed, the helicopter only feet away telling my compatriots to go on without me, to live their lives! Naturally they accepted such terms, and flew away leaving me to watch my grizzly death as hordes of infected beat me into a fine mist of pixels.

All in all, the mere fact that it’s a coop game that relies on people cooperating and punishes the mavericks in the world balances everything naturally. Just like those classic horror movies if you go off alone you will die. Moments designed by the “AI Director” are not only suspenseful but make you think in new ways to get through situations. Many times though it becomes more of a Hollywood simulation and less of a Zombie flick as you realize you clearly didn’t suck enough of the Director’s cock to get where you are. This usually results in the Director thinking you are doing too well and you will simply be repeatedly raped by hordes of dead for your lack of oral generosity to the omnipresent AI.

Spore

The Spore Creature Creator is as hilarious as everyone says it is. Barb and I are going to buy the full version because its ssssoooo goofy. I am sure everyone has heard about the dickmonsters, roaming the universe. Basically Maxis (EA) is using this to seed the universe with Spore creatures. During game play in the full version of Spore your creature will be able to go out and conquer planets, the inhabitants of which will be pulled from other peoples creations upload to the interwebz. One of the concerns is you will get stuck with bunches of dickmonsters in your game. I think the Ctrl Alt Del guy had the right attitude about it.

Needless to say though this game is hilariously fun, and when I get paid I am buying the full version which is only $10.

Barb and I are having fun just with the basic game which only lets you have the basic of each slot. So we have a set of “wings” but only one style. This doesn’t matter because you can change just about every facet of the creature. So far, we haven’t been able to make wheels out of the body parts but that has been our only limitation.

If you want to kill two hours I highly suggest downloading it, its free, its fun, and you can share your creatures. I heard a rumor that you will be able to pull stats from how your creature is doing in the universe from the Spore site. Different body parts add stats… I made a crocodily thingy with grass on its back so its all sneaky. See for yourself I guess…

Visit Spore.com

EVE and Dungeons and Dragons Fourth Ed.

So I have pretty much flaked out on the “read here”s for The Lost Dungeon of Hookers and Ale. I want to get it as drawn out as possible to make drinking and DMing easier. JP suggested that if I get it drawn out enough I can give one of the players the notes and play if I get really drunk. I am actually really excited to run it, I will post everything on IRollTwenties.org so folks can see the D&D Module. It may turn into a Campaign oddly enough.

Barb and I are in a gaming group with some gamers who left D&D, one because she couldn’t stand the overly complex rules, the other because he started dating the one that couldn’t stand the overly complex rules. They both bought copies of a PHB yesterday and are looking forward to the game this weekend. I think Betsy just wants to get drunk but either way.

Speaking of overly complex rules, Barb and I played EVE last night. That game makes me want two monitors really badly. It’s so beautiful, and there are so many panels with so much great info it covers up the game. My laptop monitor is not that small, and it’s pretty hard to get everything on there and still play the game. The reason why I like EVE is its one of those games where I can “mine” and have fun. The reason is I press a button, and my ship starts to orbit and mine.

Job done, hands free. What’s more it mines the asteroid out, unlike in WoW where I may have to click the ore over and over and over again, EVE does it automatically leaving me free to watch TV, talk to folks online, peruse the market place (which is better than the WoW auction IMHO), and look at specs for ships.

So far the biggest problem I have with EVE is there is too much information. It’s impossible to know what exactly is going on. I have been gone from the game for about six months now (and before that two years) and I only remembered the very basics. “How the hell do I put this pirated shield booster into my ship!?” was a question that vexed me for 15 minutes. Granted once I found the answer it was incredibly smooth and intuitive but getting there was difficult.

It was a lot of fun talking with Barb about strategy. We are going to try to start our own Corp with some other gamer friends and we tried to think of a strategy. We decided I am going to be the brains behind the operation (and dashing good looks) and she is going to be the fist. We both rolled members of the Gallente Federation, as Barb described them “The Space French”. Despite our heritage apparently the Gallente are very brave and charismatic.

I took a bunch of stats for business acumen while I think Barb took a bunch for combat. I also figured I would take drones to support her while I GTFO. I can’t wait till we see how our ships build up. I already added a shield booster. I named my ship “The Celerity”, she is a Navitas class Frigate… good times.

After hearing all the sound effects etc I still want a ringtone with the chick saying “You are receiving an incoming transmission”, with the locking on sound in the background. Anyone who can do this will be rewarded with internets, cool points, and dinner.

I Lol'd (Taken from Jack Thompson's Wiki)

Disbarment proceedings

In February 2007, the Florida Bar filed disbarment proceedings against Thompson over allegations of professional misconduct. The action was the result of separate grievances filed by people claiming that Thompson made defamatory, false statements and attempted to humiliate, embarrass, harass or intimidate them.^[127] According to the complaint, Thompson accused Cardenas of "distribution of pornography to children," claimed that the Alabama judge presiding over the Devin Moore case "breaks the rules, even the Alabama State Bar Rules, because he thinks that the rules don't apply to him," and sent a letter to Blank Rome's managing partner, saying, "Your law firm has actively and knowingly facilitated by various means the criminal distribution of sexual material to minors." Thompson claims that the complaints violate state religious protections because his advocacy is motivated by his Christian faith.^[128]

In May 2008, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Dava Tunis, after reviewing 2,400 pages of transcripts and 1,700 pages of exhibits, recommended that Thompson be found guilty of 27 of the 31 violations of which he had been accused, including making false statements to tribunals, disparaging and humiliating litigants and other lawyers, and improperly practicing law outside of Florida. Thompson filed a motion with the Florida Supreme Court the day after the report was issued to strike Tunis' recommendations as vague for lack of detail. Previously, Thompson had attempted to have Tunis thrown off his case, and filed a complaint against her with the state Judicial Qualifications Commission, which is responsible for investigating judges.

How To Kill a Weekend, The Free Way

So this weekend between bouts with MST3K doing Raides of the Lost Ark, my girlfriend and our friend Ryan fought off cases of the doldrums. Instead of jumping on Direct2Drive and throwing away some money we decided to take a risk and surf the web for a free game. We ended up coming out with a nice little jewel of a game.

Nexiuz is a free FPS that started as a Quake mod. Totally free and completely legal it strives to put the death match back in FPS shenanigans. It does a good job, there were some issues with either lag or something on my computer but aside from that “free” is definitely a fair price. It takes some time to download but not too long.

So if you have a bunch of friends, and are bored I sincerely recommend this game. There is a level with this ring over the board with a sniper rifle on top, you get onto this floating circle (trying very hard to avoid the term “halo” but that’s what it is) by using a jump pad in the center of the level. So it turns into this king of the hill match, except in mid air.

The game also features a grappling hook that your character can use to get to places, and it’s possible to slingshot yourself, so this usually results folks hanging from a wall trying to shoot their friends like some cracked out Spiderman. Ryan would camp in corners and wait for folks to walk by, once we figured out his game though he was easy enough to kill.

Balance seems to be a huge priority in this game, no one weapon seems over powered. The sniper rifle is a little too accurate, in that it works just as well from the hip as it does when you aim. By far my favorite weapon is this fully automatic…rocket launcher…thing… this spinning wheel of exploding death is not nearly as powerful as the actual rocket launcher but it’s still very cool.

Seriously though, I recommend it. Completely free, and it’s a good way to dick around with some friends that don’t want to drop $20 on an FPS. You also don’t have to think as much as that damn CoD4 game.

More of a Personal Post

As someone who owns the collectors set of Indiana Jones, I am a huge fan. They are great stories, I grew up on Westerns when I was a kid. My dad and I used to just watch them together. Shows like “Have Gun Will Travel” where decidedly awesome. Yeah they are hokey but what kids shows aren’t?

Looking back I think I know why those shows were good, the stories were simple. The plot can honestly be summarized with “beginning, confrontation, resolution”. You introduce the main character, oh shit there are bad guys poisoning the water hole, kill/arrest them, end of show. There is a great deal of simple charm to that formula, and when you have a bad guy you don’t like for simple reasons it’s even better.

That’s why Nazis have always worked in Indy flicks. They are the bad guys, why you may ask, because they are Nazis. Things blow up along the way, we may see a few big names, someone’s face melts, and there are some laughs, all around good time, life is good. Kinda like beer and pretzels night with a gaming group. I know the recent OWbN podcast made fun of folks who use this formula for characters in LARP, and I agree, LARP is far too moody and "mature" for that. Nazi killing and evil mustachioed men are at the heart of beer and pretzel gaming though. When I think of beer and pretzel "role playing" I think of those old westerns. Thats the inherent charm in Indi flicks, beer and pretzels, its a beer and pretzels movie trying to capture the charm of beer and pretzel dime novels.

So after seeing these movies for the umpteen times and loving it I am excited for the new one. I am going to Kublacon this weekend and will be seeing it with some gamers there in SF hopefully. To get ready for the movie my girlfriend and I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark with the RiffTrax.com commentary of it. It was totally worth the $3.00. I shared the file with some friends who downloaded it on their machines from the Rifftrax site legally. Just like the one for 300, adding this commentary puts a whole new spin on the movie.

Seriously though, it was a pain in our ass. If you ever try these don't use their player. Its kind of a gimmick and it fucked with the dialog. I think we had an option turned on that if we would have turned off would have been fine, honestly though, just do it the old fashioned way. Its kind of confusing with this movie because they often use the fade of the production trademark as the point of reference and this movie really doesn't have that (think of the MGM Lion's roar with the Dark Side of the Rainbow trick). Once we got it work though, it was worth it.

I am looking forward to the new Indi flick. I am one of those people that like to make fun of the movie as we watch it with my friends. I went to go see Speed Racer and every time Racer X talked we implanted lines from Lost…

Also, happy birthday George Lucas…hopefully this year will make you much much much wiser.

Woo!

Are there any Hard Gay fans out there?



If you don't know Hard Gay is a Japanese sketch show character. He is a parody of gay people, overly flamboyant, and just pretty goofy. You can check out a lot of his skits on YouTube (I have one such sketch above).

He is a somewhat controversial figure. Naturally he is so over the top the gay community in Japan feels he is demeaning to homosexuals. No surprise Japan’s homosexual community is very concerned about discrimination. I don’t know how receptive the Japanese culture is to these folks, so I can’t really comment.

I do know he has a big enough fan base that Nintendo thinks he will help sell games. He recently made an appearance in “Tingles Magic Rupeeland” building a bridge. Hard Gay joins the ranks of characters with alternate sexual preferences. Of course many of us know about Birdo, the transgendered dinosaur, and there is of course speculation on Daisy, the tomboyish “friend” to Peach.

Now, Nintendo is not so cavalier as to have these characters appear in the "Girls of Gaming" magazines that frequent the IGN channels, but I think there is a touch of bravado in putting characters like Hard Gay and Birdo (who in a recent game was confirmed as being transgendered) in these games; I think its all about Nintendo's strategy to appeal to everyone, kids and adults.

Check out Hard Gay's wiki

Wheels Keep on Spinning Round...

Two marketing posts in a row, I know, I am sorry. This is at least about GTA IV though, that counts for something right? After playing for three hours I am still having a blast. It dawned on me that I had missed the huge marketing wheel, paid advertisements, contests, ARGs, etc etc, I mean this game has to be as big as Halo 3 right?

Then it dawned on me, I didn’t miss the marketing wheel, it was going on the whole time. The PR team for GTA IV rolled the dice in a lot of ways and it looked like it paid off. Look back a year, when people were still clamoring to “finish the fight” it looked like no matter where you went all you heard about was Halo 3. I mean an open beta, teaser trailers everywhere, its customary ARG, even its own Mountain Dew (which tasted like gross in my opinion).

Rock Star on the other hand did something quite differently. They said nothing about anything. Open beta? Hell no, reviewers had to review the game in a hotel room with guards. Huge paid advertising? Why would you need it; after all Rock Star servers crashed after releasing the 1:03 trailer “Things will be different.” The hype wasn’t needed.

What is something a community loves the most? Speculation. Rumour sites for movies, games, hell even D&D exist and thrive because people love to speculate. Rock Star spoon fed that, carefully controlling the release of information and making sure that whenever information was released it was done for free and built a lot of hype.

This is the kind of marketing Apple employs. Community generation is tough though, and they can do more harm than good if your product is in the least bit inferior. Luckily most of the 10/10 reviews abate that.

Once it was launched they let the reviews do all the advertising and started airing paid advertisements to get those who were in a coma to buy.

I Love Analytics

Thank you ILoveAnalytics.com for these videos....

Below are some funny videos about marketing I found on their site. If you want more commentary on them go ahead and click on over. That blog is all about marketing where we have dorks of a different colour here.

Good Show, or Greatest Show?

So, I am seriously in love with this show called Carnivale. It’s an HBO show that unfortunately died around season 2. It was planned on being a six season series but a short dip in viewers and a raise in production costs lead HBO to cancel the show early, something the rarely do.

I bring it up because watching the show is like watching World of Darkness: Dustbowl. The introductory monologue by a midget with a club foot pretty much sums it up.

"Before the beginning, after the great war between heaven and hell, God created the Earth and gave dominion over it to the crafty ape he called man. And to each generation was born a creature
of light and a creature of darkness. And great armies clashed by night in the ancient war between good and evil. There was magic then. Nobility. And unimaginable cruelty. So it was. Until the day
that a false sun exploded over Trinity and man forever traded away wonder for reason."

The show has a really unique style as far as costuming and art goes, and if you like the story telling style of Lost you will probably like Carnivale. If the story telling style of “hey there is this mysterious…thing…lets figure it out show by show whilst various dramaz go on in the background” pisses you off, this show will too.

Honestly though, I recommend it to any LARPer. It has definite mage overtones, gypsies subtleness, no real vampire shenanigans but its cool.

It goes for about $60 per season, and its worth every penny.

Never Trust a Fan Boy

I am always a fan of communities. Especially communities and how they relate to marketing. South Park did an episode last night about using the internet to make money, this blog was started because I want to see how bloggers make money (see shameless promotions to the right), and really, it never seems to work. It’s the pyramid scheme of the new millennia a lot of times, you really have to have something people want to watch or read. That doesn't mean its not fun, just don't quit your day job.

That’s why the nerd community has picked up on it so well. Dorks across the globe really can’t get information, because there are so few of us in each individual community, but on the internet our name is Legion. Wizards of the Coast doesn’t really need to engage in marketing, they have a diehard community to do it for them. DND4.com is a great example. They have constructed a “Preview PHB”, which my friends and I have started dissecting for the latest clues about how we are going to play the game.

We are going to buy it, this just tipped us over the edge to make sure we place advance orders, advance orders I found out about on DnD4.com. White-Wolf Studios had the same opportunities for their Requiem and New World of Darkness series, but they blew it. They sued their fans instead of embracing them, and that has weakened their ability to market to their consumers. I am continually shocked that they choose to piss off their fan base. I don’t know why they haven’t taken a page from Wizards and chosen to STFU. I understand that each company has their style, Windows encourages third party manufacturers. Apple refuses to budge on opening their platform. Both have the pros and cons, both work. Thats the key though, both work, which is great because now I as a user have a diverse choice of options for my computing needs. Unfortunately White-Wolf has chosen to do things poorly, so I loose out on my options for angsty vampires.

In the end, White-Wolf studios enforcement of what I play has made an otherwise great game suck. Wizards has chosen to embrace the fans and its going to make 4.0 all the sweeter. White-Wolf needs to apologize and start kissing the asses of their community; otherwise they are going to go the way of the FASA-bird.

P.S. speaking of shameless promotion, this article is all about it. Click here to find out why!

Chagenling Review - By John "the Hair" Hironimus

I want to take a moment to talk about old Changeling.

Now, when spirits were brave and the stakes were high, the land was free and 2nd edition still frolicked in the fields, I was a huge fan of a little game called Changeling: The Dreaming. Set in the same World of Darkness that was made so popular by the Vampire: The Masquerade and Werewolf: The Apocalypse games, it strove to bring a somewhat lighter side to the Gothic-Punk setting that was part and parcel of the other White Wolf games. The theme of Changeling was wonderment, creativity, glamour, and innocence. More importantly, it was the ability to keep these things alive even in the face of the horrors that were present in the dark setting. More importantly than that, though, was the ability to keep those things alive in the face of a worse enemy still: Banality.

In a world where Vampires controlled (or influenced, in later works) the government and corrupted society to be a shell of what it once was to make it easier for the undead predators-turned-parasites to feed on the cattle-like heard of Humanity, where the warriors of Gaia fought a losing battle to save the earth from hatred and corruption both physical and spiritual, the Changelings embraced the creative, the brave, the proud, shining inspiration and romantic passion that stood against a world turned cold and creatively desolate. As Willy Wonka said, quoting Arthur O'Shaughnessy, "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."

Yet the rest of the poem fits the feel of Changeling all too well, and carries with it further themes.

"We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems."

Changeling was not a story about eternal sunshine, because it illustrated a further poetic thought. Nothing gold can stay. Banality; that cold boredom, the numb process that has become so part of our world since industrialization, the authority present in the ticking clock that marks our time to work, our time to rest, the length of our breaks, a measure of the wage we earn to continue existing to earn a wage to continue existing. It is the thing that drives away Fancy in exchange for Practicality, Dreams in exchange for Necessities. It is that thing that kills our insides so slowly that it's not until the fading spark, the emaciated passion that once drove us, is revealed, faded and grasping for something that has nearly been forgotten, that we realize it has been dying all along.

It was a game about tragedy. In the end, Banality always won.

Shel Silverstein's poem, Forgotten Language:

"Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?"

The tragedy of Changeling is the same tragedy present in the real world. We grow old, and we forget our dreams and our passions, and we take the world as it comes, because the world keeps coming (incidentally, it's also the reason "Puff the Magic Dragon" always makes me cry).

I definitely think that role-playing has been a large part of my life because it allows that expression and passion to come through. Through the shared imagination of player and Storyteller or DM or GM or what have you, we're able to explore themes and situations that are a part of humanity not usually addressed in day-to-day existence. There are many that would use the same statement to argue that RPG's lead to escapism and avoidance of real-world situations, or that they distance a person from being able to deal with real life. My opinion may be biased, but I think that it's no more "escapism" than TV, a book (people still read those, right?), or even playing a rousing game of "Sorry" with the family. Or Monopoly. Hell, Monopoly was a huge hit when it first came out because it was released during the Great Depression and it let people feel, for the brief (haha) time that they were playing the game, like they were tycoons. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, go play a role-playing game. Play a game that draws you in. Make a character that's a CHARACTER, and not dots on a sheet. And enjoy yourself.

For Good Or For Awesome - How To Use Google For Gaming

I like to do what they guys at Mystery Science Theatre 3000 did. When they got canceled because they couldn't afford the rights to make fun of crappy movies no one wanted to watch, they looked for new ways to do what they did better. They took technology that had very little to do with making fun of movies, and used it to make fun of movies. They created RiffTrax.com, and use their powers for good instead of evil. They used MP3s to do the job they were doing and not paying for the rights to use movies. That means they can mock big blockbusters and not have to pay for it.

Today we see gaming trying to do the same thing. There is a lot of hoopla about D&D going online. People are saying that its going to detract from the experience, others are saying it’s the next best thing since sliced bread. I say Wizards of the Coast is behind the times, they need to take a page out of Google’s book. instead of designing a show around making fun of movies, why not just take something and use it to make fun of movies. The same can be said for gaming; instead of designing a program to make it easier for your friends to kill the dragon, use a program for businesses to kill the dragon.

So, as we all know Google.com is going to one day own everything. Honestly I am more than content to go along with the ride. My day job uses Google mail, Google Docs, Google Spreadsheets, Google 3D, hell my iPhone uses Google Maps, and Google wrote a better mail webapp than Apple (and they released the damn phone). But what about those of us who like to use work related things for our definitely not work related shenanigans, say like… sending a party of evil doers into the clutches of a band of waiting PCs? Or managing a weekly LARP with 20 PCs? What about discussing what game the group will be playing this week? Google makes all these things possible…

G-Mail

Never mind that G-Mail is the key to a gateway of free apps, the way big G formats your inbox is clear and concise. Ever want to be able to discuss a topic with several people, and keep things easily formatted, say like on a forum? G-mail does that, it saves e-mails as “Conversations”, letting all parties involved click to go back and review conversations, or skip the whole lot if you don’t care to read it.

As someone who receives over 200 gaming related e-mails a day (I’m on a lot of lists) I can’t thank G-Mail enough for this!

Google Docs

Never has it been easier make sure your party is informed about the world you are playing in. Whenever I DM, I usually have my players play in one world that I have slowly been working on since I started gaming. It’s a low magic feudal world. Needless to say there is a lot of information, and history. Some PC driven, some I created. The best way to get information through? Just make a Google doc and invite your players. You can edit information on the fly and it will refresh for all viewers, there is even a chat panel to discuss on the doc.

Google Spreadsheet

Easy access to forms. Setting up a secure form on a Google spreadsheet is a breeze. E-mail the form out to your players, their input is put into a spreadsheet clearly, and concisely. Most of all the other players can’t see it! Running a vampire LARP? What better way to manage the dealings of the Kindred? If the Prince wants to manipulate the press to cover the latest Masquerade the same live update feature will show you the exact second he does. It will also show you the harpy spending actions to watch the prince.

Google Maps

Track a party’s progress over a map. Just use a real world location people have never been too. Medieval landscape? England. Dessert? Death Valley. Sweltering jungle? New Zealand! You can plot points, mark encounters and land marks as well. I ran a game with one game and two tables. There was one other DM and both parties were on the same island. We would both edit the map with the parties progress and when huge events went off we the other party thought it was NPCs. Boy were they surprised.

Google Calendar

Share your gaming schedule easily. Need to change the date of that shadow run? Waiting for a game to be released? Easy as, one, two, three, go. E-mail notifications are sent out, with RSVPs, forget about Facebook.

Google Sketchup

I stole this one from one of my friends, Heather. Need to show off that dungeon? Got multiple levels? Google Sketchup is the way to go. You can easily draw castles, houses, villages, warrens, dungeons, taverns, inns, corporate buildings. The list goes on and on, all in 3d! This works great for a tactical game. When its important for all sides of a building need to be considered.